The issue here is not short-term vacillation while waiting to see how a new relationship might evolve.
The problem comes with prolonged ambivalence, with mixed feelings and mixed signals month after month.
Resist the urge to feel as if you have done something wrong or have to do something to make it right. One of the worst responses is to become pushy and prickly: “Why are you so apathetic and indecisive? ” One of the best responses is to intentionally allow for space.
There is a push-pull phenomenon common to relationships: the more you push, the more your partner will pull away.
For your own clarity, it’s appropriate to ask, “Where is this relationship headed?
” Or you might say, “I’m not sure where you’re at with our relationship.
This does mean moving forward with your life while the other person figures out what to do with his or her life. While being careful not to be off-putting, a few well-chosen questions and comments might be in order.In fact, an extensive research study found that the presence of wavering emotions is a reliable predictor of future divorce among newly married couples.