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I told my mum I was having friends over so she made samosas for us (as it turns out he was severely allergic to lentils and peas, so after one bite I had to rinse out my mouth – slightly awkward.) After the sex, my main thoughts on the whole occasion were: “This was excellent and needs to happen again as soon as possible”, followed by “Literally, why did I wait?! Ideally, I would find someone with the same “level” of Muslim as me who could relate to my struggles. He had just moved back to London from a stint in Cuba, was super cute and Muslim.

” Jump forward to the time I went home with Happn guy. It’s so nice that he’s putting aside his own needs to think about my future as a Pakistani bride! My preconceptions of him as super woke (he had Pakistani friends! On our second date we spent the whole day together.

"The only evidence that they had that the other person existed before their marriage night was simply a small black-and-white picture and the good wishes of a couple of relatives," he says.

"That's all they knew."Shaikh's parents are Muslim and they lived in India at the time of their wedding back in the 1970s.

He asked me if there was a reason I hadn’t had sex before. ” In these situations I vacillate between being completely upfront thus making a relationship unlikely or brushing over the fact that the relationship has to be secret.


As a result, I’ve had lots of flings where people don’t fully understand my background, where I always have to compromise something.

He was born there too, but when he was 3, they all moved to the US.

Growing up, when it came to dating, relationships and girls, Shaikh would experience one thing at home, another outside.

He looked shocked, as if I were a walking contradiction, fasting by day and drinking by night. I put it down to cultural ignorance, but the way he talked to me was actually quite patronising. ) I left his house, drained and insecure, texting my mum pretending that the Uber ETA link was broken.


We finally had sex when my parents were out of town and I was fed up with trekking to Zone 4. I was too tired to work out a plausible explanation as to why I’d gone from Camden to Baron’s Court. Of course I would never want to marry someone who was looking for someone “pure”, as this doesn’t fit with my feminist sensibilities.Don't escape a woman or a man with the same equal ambitions crucial.


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