Making a decision on the fly with no forethought is a recipe for going too far. Is it in our best interest to engage in these practices prior to marriage? For those who have adopted the standards of behavior endorsed by today’s entertainment industry, these are stupid questions.
In fact, they are non-questions—meaning they just aren’t asked.
We didn’t ‘bear hug’ until a month before we were engaged, and we were careful with that.” Kissing, according to our panel, is definitely more intimate than hand-holding or hugs and should be avoided prior to engagement.However, he explained to me that he felt like it was important that there be a physical means of communicating with each other and expressing the closeness that we felt. “One thing that both of us learned was that before marriage, if you are pursuing marriage with a person, anything has the potential to be physically exciting and distracting.In the midst of the excitement, you have to take your thoughts captive and make decisions about enjoying emotional closeness and small amounts of physical contact based on whether the relationship is deep and solid enough to benefit from these added dimensions, or whether it will only serve to cover up a lack of real communication.Individual tolerances to holding hands or other touching may vary, so there’s no hard-and-fast rule.
But I would have done better erring on the side of strict conservatism in this area.” Kate, 28, who is married to Luke, wrote: “We didn’t hold hands till almost a year after we started dating.To help you establish godly standards, consider the following advice given by a panel of young American Christians between the ages of 20 and 30. While the names are changed to preserve each person’s identity, the comments are genuine. is “ if you plan to marry him or her, when you both feel like the other is the right one for you.” Continuing, she said, “I wouldn’t hold hands with someone who I felt to be ‘just a date’ or someone I was mildly interested in, or even just plain had a crush on.