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So how do you make her feel safe in the messaging phase?

Anything that even hints of sexual expectation, misogyny, or pressure of any kind is a red flag.

Women have a different set of social and personal safety challenges than guys.

You need to understand that and use your messages to transmit signals that you are a respectful, responsible person who has healthy boundaries.

For a location it’s gallant to ask what part of town they're in and then choose a cool spot that is more convenient for them if you’re in a different part – again, a familiar spot or familiar part of town helps put your date at ease. As it turns out, one in three people who’ve matched and messaged with someone on a site never actually meet them face to face. Even if she hasn’t heard it before, she’ll know and respect you less.

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The second act is getting to the kind of fun, playful exchange that allows you to share some kind of emotional connection with the other person.It’s the formula to taking your online dating message game to a previously unimagined level. Or the conversation peters out after a few exchanges. And unless you’re an Adonis who runs a puppy rescue shelter, we’re all frustrated. It’s shallow, an incredible time suck, and it’s not delivering on its promise: algorithm-assisted matches that make dating efficient. I want to be up front: this isn’t about crafting the perfect profile.

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