But the world of online dating can be difficult in a very specific way for those who identify as multiracial. Whether it's some drunk guy saying, "You're so hot, I don't care that you're Hispanic" (I'm not Hispanic), or someone finding out my dad is from India and then only wanting to talk about curry and Bollywood, my experiences as a multiracial woman have been marked by people just not knowing how to bring up race without being incredibly awkward.
(Sorry.) Thanks to a combination of unchecked biases and overt fetishizing, the dating world is a minefield for mixed race people.
Then there are those dating site users who bring up race as a preference rather than a dealbreaker.
According to mixed-race Grindr user Ben*, 23, when people say they're looking exclusively for, say, Asians or Latinos, it's often in a fetishizing way, as if the users are looking for a race and not a person.
For every person trying to decipher just what makes you look so "exotic," there's someone who acts like dating someone of mixed heritage will make them more interesting. It just makes them, at best, racially insensitive, and at worst an asshole.With 14 years of experience, we have created an easy process for you to get started.By just completing profile placement you can start meeting thousands of people like you who are interested in interracial dating. "My typical response is to ask why, and then it's usually confirmed that they have a weird fetish, so I call them out and then block them." These fascinations with "exotic" beauty are intended to be compliments or at least proof of interest. "Calling [someone] exotic assumes she is essentially an other and somehow different, though the connotation is not particularly positive," clinical psychologist Goal Auzeen Saedi wrote for .
Instead, they usually end up making mixed race people feel they're nothing more than fodder for a genetic guessing game of "what are you? "While many intend it as a compliment, when you really break it down, an exotic beauty is not the same as a true beauty.
In a piece on Grindr racism, writer Anthony Berteaux wrote that many Grindr profiles in his area featured derogatory terms about race — for instance, referring to men of Indian or East Asian descent as "curry" and "rice." That type of racial fetishization applied doubly to people who identified as multiracial.