Keep in mind that “asking for what you want” extends to everything from emotional to sexual wants.3. Think about who your mate really is and what excites him or her (both physically and emotionally).
We can become consumed by what WE THINK he/she wants, as opposed to tuning in to what truly resonates with the other person.
Accept that your mate feels hurt and from this place, a real apology can have a significant impact.
When you love your partner and hurt them (intentionally or not) you can always legitimately apologize for the pain you caused regardless of your perspective on what you did or didn’t do.
Just make sure that you initiate or accept within a reasonable amount of time thereafter. Practice the art of “Wearing the Relationship Hat.” This means that (barring any emergencies or deadlines), we are fully present when we're with our mate.
Without an intentional appointment to do a temperature check, unmet needs and resentments can build. Do you find it sexy if he/she helps with the housework? Break out of the “dinner and a movie” routine and watch how a little novelty can truly rejuvenate your relationship. Jump on the internet to look for “cheap date ideas” and be blown away at the plethora of options. Try swapping babysitting time with friends that have kids. Unless you have committed to an asexual partnership, sex, sexual contact and touching (kissing, holding hands, cuddling etc.) are vital components of a romantic relationship.We lose our patience, gentleness, thoughtfulness, understanding and the general effort we once made toward our mate. Over time, we assume that our partner knows us so well that we don’t need to ask for what we want. Expectations are set and just as quickly, they get deflated.Think back to the first year of your relationship and write down all the things you used to do for your partner. Those unmet expectations can leave us questioning the viability of our partnership and connection.Saying things like “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I’m sorry you see it that way” are a waste of time and breath.
Even if you don’t agree that your action was wrong, you will never successfully argue a feeling.
Instead, try asking things like, “What made you smile today?